


Unarmed and Dispirited

by nowhiteflaguponmydoor



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 04:47:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17594906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowhiteflaguponmydoor/pseuds/nowhiteflaguponmydoor
Summary: The morning after the events of "Period of Adjustment".





	Unarmed and Dispirited

**Author's Note:**

> A big shoutout to the lovely pr0serpina for the beta! Thank you darling!  
> I wanted to explore what happened the morning after Period of Adjustment, because during the scene in Sherm's office, BJ is still drunk as all get out. The Margaret interlude comes from Margaret entering the Swamp, saying "you're hurt!" to Hawkeye, and looking at his face. I live for Houlihawk friendship/Big Sister Margaret.  
> I also want to point out that daylight_angel touched briefly on BJ's comments about Daniel in You Touched Me, which is a wonderful post-series response to Period of Adjustment, so that gave me a little inspiration. Go read it, stat.  
> Oh, the title is a big fat pun in honor of BJ Punnicutt. He says to Hawkeye that he's unarmed when Hawk enters Sherm's office in his "soldier hat", and dispirited refers to the morning after when BJ's not drunk anymore.

Hawkeye lets BJ cry it out a bit more before nudging him to stand up once he’s calmed down a bit. It’s been a long night, and he wants nothing more than to crawl into his cot and get some shuteye. He has BJ sling an arm around his shoulders and helps him out of Colonel Potter’s office. The colonel gives Hawkeye a look over BJ’s head, sort of an _everything_ _alright_ , _Pierce_? look that Hawkeye responds to with a shrug. Potter looks somewhat concerned, but allows them to pass and so Hawk half drags, half carries BJ back to the Swamp. BJ is rapidly losing the battle with consciousness as Hawkeye gets the door open.Hawkeye notices that the worst of the damage from BJ’s outburst has been cleared away and he’s grateful. He gets BJ situated onto his cot and kneels down in front of him to take off his Chucks.

BJ is leaning heavily to one side and murmurs “whatcha doin’ Hawk?” when Hawkeye gets down in front of him.

Hawkeye sighs. “Taking your overly large shoes off so you can get some sleep,” he says mildly. BJ doesn’t really appear to be listening though, and as soon as Hawkeye is done and gently pushes him back until he’s lying on his side. Someone (Margaret? He’d bet she also was the one to clean up, too) has left a bedpan next to BJ’s cot, and so Hawkeye makes sure it’s easily reachable. He covers BJ with his blanket and then kicks off his own boots and disrobes before crawling into his own bed. Before Hawkeye’s head hits the pillow, he can hear BJ snoring loudly.

Hawkeye lies on his back with his hands behind his head and it’s a long time before he falls asleep.

Hawkeye wakes up to the sound of someone vomiting and he’s momentarily confused before the events of last night come rushing back to him, along with the pounding on the left side of his face. Beej getting fantastically bombed, Beej destroying the still, Beej punching him in the face, Beej crying in Potter’s office.

He throws his blanket off and gets up to tend to BJ, who is finishing vomiting into the bedpan. He almost puts a hand on his back and hesitates, remembering BJ turning and hitting him. He settles for coming around to stand in front of his friend and asking, “you okay?”

BJ puts the bedpan down and groans, looking at the floor. “‘M alive,” he says.

“Honestly, I’m slightly amazed. You tried to replace your blood with booze.” BJ groans, still not looking at him, and Hawkeye sighs. “Why don’t you go and brush your teeth, get your mouth rinsed out. I’ll bring you some coffee. And get rid of that bedpan, or Charles will have something to say about it.”

BJ groans in acknowledgement and Hawkeye quickly slips his boots and robe on. He lingers in the mess tent, drinking coffee for himself and eating the sad excuse for breakfast slowly. Margaret comes to sit with him.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

Hawkeye smiles. “Oh yeah, just peachy. Much better than my bunky, anyway.” He takes a long sip of coffee and tries to ignore Margaret’s critical eye. She keeps her gaze fixed on him until he puts his mug down and sighs. “Honestly, Margaret. I’m fine. I’ve got a hell of a headache, which isn’t anything unusual, except this time it’s BJ’s doing, not my own.”

She shakes her head, sipping her own coffee. “I can’t believe he hit you,” she says. She sounds angry but Hawkeye knows he isn’t the one she’s angry at (for once).

Hawkeye turns to look at her. “Yeah, me and my face were pretty surprised too.” He tries not to be too ornery when he says it. “Hey, speaking of surprised...did you by chance happen to tidy up the Swamp and leave a bedpan for Captain Fisticuffs?”

She flaps her hand. “It was nothing. Charles helped too. We figured you had enough on your hands trying to wrangle BJ.”

Hawkeye catches her hand and squeezes it. “Thanks, Margaret,” he says sincerely. She scoffs but he leans over and presses a light kiss to her cheek. “I mean it. Thanks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go make sure Beej is still breathing.”

She smiles and shakes her head, and he could swear he hears her say something like _he better not swing at you again_ as he walks away.

Hawkeye grabs a cup of coffee for BJ and heads back to the Swamp. When he enters, he’s glad to see that Beej is upright, though definitely still looking miserable ( _as_ _he_ _should_ , a small voice in his head says). He tells that voice to be quiet, as it’s not as if he’s never gotten wasted or punched someone. He walks over and hands BJ the cup of coffee.

BJ grabs the cup. “Thanks, Hawk...wait. Oh my god, Hawk, your face!” He sits the coffee down and stands (gingerly, Hawkeye can’t help but notice). “What the hell?!” He moves towards Hawkeye, fingers spread like he’s going to examine Hawk’s face, and stops dead in his tracks. His face falls, and he takes a step back. Hawkeye can see the moment that he realizes.

“My god, Hawk..I...I hit you.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Hawkeye sighs. “Yeah, Beej,” he says.

BJ flinches and closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking around. “And I destroyed the still,” he says quietly. He sits down suddenly, like his legs have been knocked out from under him. He looks up at Hawkeye. “I...oh, Hawkeye. I am so, so sorry.”

Hawkeye takes a few steps until he is right in front of BJ and kneels down in front of him. “I know, Beej. It’s...it’s okay.”

A tear runs down BJ’s cheek and he brings his hands up near Hawkeye’s face. “Can I see?”

Hawkeye sighs but turns his head and offers the left side of his face to BJ. BJ touches his face gently, almost reverently.

“I’m fine, Beej. It’s just a nasty bruise.”

BJ laughs darkly. “Hawkeye, you didn’t walk into a door. _I_ did this. _I_ put this on your face.” He lets go of Hawkeye’s face and Hawkeye can see him retreating inward.

Hawkeye ducks his head so he can catch BJ’s gaze. “Beej, look at me. I know you didn’t mean it. You were drunk, and hurting—”

“That’s no excuse, Hawk,” BJ says. Hawkeye thinks it would sound sharper if he weren’t right there in BJ’s space.

“I didn’t say it was, Beej.” Hawkeye takes BJ’s hands. “Look, we’ve all gotten bombed and done something we regret. Just let it be something you learn from. I, for instance, learned not to grab a guy when he’s trying to destroy my tent.” It comes out lightly, but Hawk regrets it when he sees BJ’s face—his mouth twists, and there are tears in his eyes.

“Hawk, I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have let that damn letter get me so tied up in knots.”

“Beej, I can understand you being upset. I know you miss your girls,” Hawkeye tightens his grip on BJ’s hands. “I just wish you’d have talked to me instead of bottling it up and trying to drink it away. I know I shouldn’t lecture anyone on drinking, but it’s not good for you, Beej. Not when you’re in that frame of mind. And it doesn’t make what’s eating you disappear, if anything, it just acts as gasoline to a match. As we clearly saw.”

BJ winces. “I’ve never been that drunk. Or that angry. It--it scares, me Hawk. It scares me that I did that.” His eyes are wet again.

“Well, it didn’t do much for me either, Beej. Look, I’m not saying never drink again or anything like that. I just think maybe it’s something you need to be more careful with.”

BJ nods. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for what I said to you. I know you miss your dad. It must be so difficult on him, you being here.”

Hawkeye nods. “It is. He doesn’t tell me outright, but I know it is.” Hawk swallows. “I still have the occasional nightmare about being declared dead, and being unable to reach him.” That had been rough.

BJ leans forward so he can press his forehead against Hawkeye’s. “I’m sorry for breaking the still. I know Trapper meant a lot to you, and I’m sorry for destroying what you had left of him.”

Hawk squeezes his eyes shut. The thought of Trap still hurts, like an old wound that never healed quite properly. “It’s alright,” he says quietly.

BJ pulls back from him and touches his face gently. “I’m truly sorry, Hawk. I never meant to hurt you.”

Hawkeye opens his eyes and turns his head to kiss BJ’s hand. “Yeah, Beej. It’s okay.”

BJ gently plants a kiss where the bruise is before he leans forward again to press their foreheads together once more. “Are we okay?”

Hawk leans down and buries his face in BJ’s chest. BJ runs his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah, we’re okay.”

Hawkeye lets go of the residual anger he’d woken up with, and the next day, BJ’s recruiting Klinger to help build a new still.


End file.
